Before your fantasy baseball draft or season officially begins, you must first pick choose a jaw-droppingly funny name. It may seem like small potatoes, but a strong team name will instantly earn you the respect of the rest of your league.
Here are some of the best names I’ve come across in recent years:
Player Related
Macho Machado Men – I want to be a Machado Man!
Odor Eaters – A classic name, but one that is still relevant.
K Marte – For those old enough to remember K-Mart.
Stanton Room Only – Considering the size of the outfielder, people would likely have to be 6-feet apart.
Sum of All Fiers – Comes with a free Mike Fiers mask!
Capt’ Crunch Berrios – Now with extra Crunch Berrios!
Marilyn Melancon – The beautiful people! The beautiful people!
The Bichette is Back – Did she ever really leave?!?
Upton Girl – He’s been living in an uptown world!
Down Go Frazier – George Foreman sold a lot of grills because of this!
3Mad About Yu – Darvish has burnt more than a couple fantasy owners.
Two Eggs Odorizzi – A Minnesota Special!
Bartolo’s Cologne – It would probably smell of hamburgers and chicken nuggets!
Lindor Truffles – Yummy!
X Gonna Give It To You – Perfect combination of old school rap and a young shortstop in Beantown!
Soler Powered – Pays for itself!
For Whom The Bellinger Tolls – Time Marches On!!
In Cole Blood – A classic novel by Truman Capote meets one of the game’s most electric arms!
ManBearPuig – He is half man, half bear, half Puig!
Leggo My Gallegos – A pun on Waffles, Legos, and the potential closer for the Birds.
The Land of the Fried – An especially important concept in today’s political climate.
Walker Buehler’s Day Off – Buehler? Buehler? Buehler?
Bryce Bryce Baby – Stop! Collaborate and Listen!
Nolan Arenado Mr. Roboto – Thank you very much for doing the jobs that nobody wants to!
Mr. Kate Upton – A dedication to Justin Verlander’s superhot better half…
It’s A Beautiful Day In The Gleyberhood – The late Mr. Rodgers would certainly approve.
10,000 Manaeacs – Indeed, these are certainly the day you’ll remember…
Angels in the Troutfield – One of the best players in the game meets one of the best movies ever!
Marte Gras! – It can refer to Starling or Ketel…but we can all agree that we love beads!
Hader’s Gonna Hate – And they always will…
Workman’s Comp – Clever name. Reference to money in Boston. It has it all!
50 Shades of Sonny Gray – Shout out to the ladies!
Kirby Your Enthusiasm – The popular show just announced it will be returning for its 11th season.
Kenny Powers’ Posse – Your F*cking Out!
For Shizzo My Rizzo – For the Gangsta North Side Chi-town native!
Sano To Drugs – Drugs are bad…mmkkkayyy?
The Luzardo King – I AM THE LIZARD KING!
Hakuna Moncada – This just feels right for any Chicago White Sox fan!
Syndergaardians of the Galaxy – A great reference to a great movie!
Kershawshank Redemption – One of the best movies meets one of the best southpaws!
Classics
The Off-White Sox – Who owns pure white socks anymore?
99 Problems, But A Pitch Ain’t One – Jay-Z approved!
Joe Buck Yourself – A slight dig at the “famous” color guy.
Selig’s Pick – I bet Pete Rose won’t be on this team…
Chin Music – Shawn Michaels approved!
Ruff Ryders – Stop. Drop. Shut ’em Down. Open Up Shop!
Movie / TV Show Puns
Dr. Strangeglove – Just begging you to include a picture of yourself on a nuke!
Schwing Batter Batter – We Are Not Worthy!
The Balking Dead – The deadliest move in baseball…
Springfield Isotopes – The sports mascot EVER!
Boys of Summer – A Reference to one of the best sports books of all-time.
This Is Sparta! – A scary group of dudes!
Agents of SHIELD – They still need to do something about that name…
Wild Thing – You make my heart sing!
Houston Astros
Garbage Pail Kids – Only the first reference to the cheating Astros…
Houston Asterisks – The most appropriate name out there.
Houston Colt .45s – Baby, that’s all we need!
